I Finally Stopped Lying to Myself

By May 6, 2015Inspire

I have a confession to make.


I’ve been thinking for a long time about writing a blog. I've had this website for years, and every once and awhile, this little thought would annoy me, ‘I should write a blog.' But I never did anything about it. And I had a good reason why. A really good reason.

flower in a box

 Photo Credit: ©Daniel Martin


As I would say to my friends, ‘I’m not a writer.'


Yes, I know, it's kind of crazy. I have a Master's Degree in Creative Writing. I’ve published books, articles and short stories. I made a living as a freelance writer for a few years. I've even taught writing workshops and helped other people write their stories (and wrote a book about writing!). By training and by definition, I’m a writer. ‘But,' I'd say, ‘I don’t really enjoy it. I just did the MA because I like creativity, and writing was a good outlet for me at the time. I’m not one of those writers writers. I’m not one of those people who dream of spending their 9-5 lives sitting in front of a computer writing all day long. Now my friend (we’ll call her Ms. Writer), now she’s a writer.' (Can you hear the protesting?)


Here's the truth. I wasn't scared. I was terrified.


The truth is I have a lot of things to say, things I know will surprise some people, annoy some people and probably really tick some people off. I seem all sweet when you first meet me, but the truth is, I'm not (ask my husband). I'm pretty fiery and I can pack a punch with my words when I'm truly being me. I may not be sweet, but I still don't like rejection. It hurts. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. And on top of that, I have this burning need to share hard and important things, but I don't like hurting people in any way. I have off-the-charts empathy – I can't watch T.V. shows or the news or hear stories about people being injured physically or emotionally…If you talk about your leg being broken, my leg starts to hurt for you. So I don't want people to misunderstand me and be unintentionally hurt. 


Yes, it's true. I don't want to spend my 9-5 life writing all day long. Writing is just one tool for my true passion. But it is a tool. A great one. And I have a message to share.


So here's what I decided.


I finally decided I had to get what I have to say out there. Not for me. But for all of you who want something more out of life. For those of you who are tired of the life you've been told you have to settle for – the 9-5 job you dread, a lifeless religious formula for a relationship with God, doing things the way they've always been done because you've been told anything else is impossible. For all of you who know deep down there's something more, I have to tell you there is and you can live it.


I will be rejected. People will misunderstand me and say horrible things to me. People will probably get unintentionally hurt. But I'm not doing myself or anyone else any favors if I don't share what's burning inside me. The world needs what I have say.


The truth, the whole truth, is the world needs what you have to say too.


If you have any excuses, especially dumb ones like mine, if you're lying to yourself about who you really are and what you really want to do with your life, there's no better day to stop than today. Stop lying to yourself and start living who you are. Take the first step and admit to yourself the lie and declare to yourself who you really are.


For me, today, it's ‘I'm a visionary writer and speaker.'


I want to change the world through my writing and speaking. But there are many ways of changing the world. I want you to do it in your own unique way. More about that in another blog. But for now…


I am a Creative World-Changer. You are too.

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